As leaders and professionals, we often face a complex dynamic: being too hard on ourselves or letting ourselves off the hook too easily. This internal struggle can strip away joy, ease and true connection while allowing poor behavior and bad habits to flourish.
Our inner critic constantly tells us we’re not doing enough, not good enough or not achieving fast enough. This self-judgment robs us of presence and keeps us trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction. We forget we’re human, not machines. Left unchecked, our inner critic drains us of joy and our ability to connect deeply with others—two essentials for a fulfilling life.
On the other hand, we can also be too easy on ourselves, neglecting exercise, rest and self-reflection. We push work ahead of family and friends, only to feel resentment for our choices. We indulge in poor habits—overeating, drinking, mindless scrolling (or worse, porn and illegal drugs)—to avoid feelings of disconnection.
There’s a popular message today: “I don’t care what others think.” But that’s not only untrue, it’s dangerous. As humans, we are social beings. We thrive in community, camaraderie and connection. Without these, we starve emotionally, which can lead to darker paths—addiction, loneliness and isolation.
The truth is, we do care what others think, and we should. Our reputation, our integrity and how we make people feel are some of our most valuable assets.
At the senior level of leadership, how we impact others becomes even more critical. It’s not just about what we do but how we do it. To understand this, many leaders use 360 assessments. These provide valuable feedback from those we lead, work with and influence. They offer a full view of how we are perceived, especially in key areas like communication, connection, authenticity, trust and transparency. As we rise in our careers, these qualities become more important. Leaders who excel here inspire trust and loyalty, making a profound impact on their teams and organizations.
These assessments reveal how effectively we build relationships and how authentically we show up. The insights help us focus on the intangibles that matter most at the senior level. Most people can spot a lack of authenticity a mile away. Being “real” matters more than ever, and your ability to create genuine connections often defines your success.
We live in an era of rapid technological change, where artificial intelligence (AI) is transforming industries at breakneck speed. Yet even as AI reshapes work and life, it cannot replace what is most vital to humanity: true human connection. No machine can replicate the depth of meaningful conversations, the shared experiences or the trust we build with others. Our greatest endeavors, both personal and professional, rely on the connections we form with others. A life without at least one loving connection is empty—what is life for if not that?
This isn’t just about us but also the next generation, especially those who came of age during the Covid-19 pandemic, marked by screen time and isolation. We must realize that nothing great will happen behind a screen. Great things happen when we lift our heads, put our devices away and truly connect with the people around us. We see them, they see us and we become part of something bigger than ourselves.
Your success as a leader and as a person hinge on how you show up for others, how you treat them and how you make them feel. Technology can help facilitate this, but your approach still matters. How you show up on video, for instance, can make others feel connected and seen, or it can turn the interaction into a mere transaction. Human relationships—the kind that move business forward and defines success—require more than that.
Your personal reputation is one of the few things you truly own. Each interaction, each decision, communicates something to those around you: Are you trustworthy? Reliable? Competent? Do people enjoy working with you? How you treat others matters more than any algorithm, strategy or technology.
In a world where reputations travel at lightning speed and AI can imitate almost anything, your good character is your greatest asset. As adults, we don’t get to fall back on high school behaviors like gossip, pettiness or disrespect. These might be excusable in the young, as they are still learning, but they are unacceptable in adults—especially leaders. People talk more than ever before, and your reputation will precede you. The good news? You have the power to shape it.
The secret to lasting success in leadership and life is simple: Care about the impact you have on others. Make them feel valued, safe and seen. Be the leader who lifts others up rather than the one who drags them down. And when you fall short, as we all do, have the humility to apologize and make amends.
You might be great at what you do, but to be truly great, you must genuinely care about and work toward the success of other people.
As we navigate this increasingly digital world, what will set us apart is our humanity. No matter how advanced technology becomes, people will always remember how you cared enough to help them become ever more successful in work and in life. I do believe those who do have a distinct competitive advantage.
Applying The Idea: Think about someone you love working with. Why? Strive to embody those qualities with everyone you interact with today—both at work and at home.
My Answer: I enjoy working with colleagues who are honest, warm, funny, responsive, well-intended and ridiculously talented in ways I am not. I now only work with those I know have an abundance mindset and are genuinely interested in creating a win-win-win solution for all. These are the traits I aim to bring to my interactions today and every day.
